Reaping the Rewards

Any action is often better than no action, especially if you have been stuck in an unhappy situation for a long time. If it is a mistake, at least you learn something, in which case it's no longer a mistake. If you remain stuck, you learn nothing.”
- Eckhart Tolle

Face it. Relationships take work. Important conversations require attention, intention, and commitment. Great conversations make a relationship flourish. Without them, relationships, both personal and professional, flounder or atrophy.

Great conversations require courage since most of us are nervous about opening up delicate or touchy topics. However, with a modicum of skill development, awareness of what is possible, and a vision of how you want to be, great conversations are not only possible, they are at your finger tips.

The practice this week, Reap Your Rewards, goes over very specific to do items that will help you walk away from an important conversation with the closest thing to a guarantee that something will move forward.

You'll see when you check out Reap Your Rewards that there are three steps to this model of maximizing success and creating closure:

Step one is capturing agreements and actions, as well as who will do what, when, and how it will be communicated back.

Step two is gaining clarity about any next steps that are not part of the actions and agreements.

Step three is expressing gratitude. For this, we will use the practice of giving a GIFT.

I've engaged in important conversations that seemed greatest when they happened. However, weeks later, when the folks get together again, someone didn't know that they had an action, someone else assumed that the other was taking care of it, etc. Misunderstandings were rampant since nothing was written down.

I also heard important conversations that seemed to be moving along well when suddenly the conversation ends without any closure.

You deserve a prize and to reap the rewards from the hard work you do to engage in pre-work, to initiate the conversation, and to do all that is needed to keep the body of the conversation on track. Certainly, giving yourself credit for getting to that point is worth doing. However, clinching it with the practices of culling out and reviewing agreements, actions, POCs, next steps, and ending with giving a GIFT will really let you reap the rewards long term.

Write in as you gather your courage and engage in these important conversations that are vital to the health of all your relationships.

Judith Bell, M.S., Master LHEP™

Judith Bell, M.S., Master LHEP™

Judith is the founder and president of Rewire Leadership Institute®. A master facilitator, consultant, teacher, and coach, she has created and facilitated personal growth, team development and organizational change seminars, coached executives and teams, facilitated strategic planning and high visibility meetings, and supported culture change for over four decades. Judith works with a diverse range of companies from government agencies, non-profit, Fortune Global 500, to small and mid-sized family owned businesses including such organizations as NASA, Seaflow, Total Oil, Restoration Hardware, San Antonio Water System, and Culver Company.

Superb at supporting individuals, pairs, and teams in developing the skills necessary to realize their full potential, Judith helps executives, managers, and staff gain the ability to respond flexibly and rapidly to their changing environment. Through extensive experience and research, she utilizes a number of different approaches including the FIRO theory, systems theory, cybernetics, neuroscience, cognitive, positive, and success psychology.

As one of the world’s leading experts on the FIRO theory, she trains consultants internationally. A consultant’s consultant, Judith mentors facilitators, coaches, therapists and other professionals in the integration of the FIRO theory in their work. From 1981 until 2004, she worked closely with Dr. Will Schutz, the creator of FIRO theory. Independently, Judith developed FIRO Theory Profiling, which has been lauded as the first innovation in the FIRO theory instruments aside from Dr. Schutz’ own developments. She continues to develop courses that synthesize her studies and experience and are based in FIRO theory.

Starting in her teenage years, Judith has been a pioneer in her passion for authenticity, clear communication, and positive change. She is lauded for her ability to see others’ potential and help them realize it—be they individuals, pairs, teams, or organizations. Judith’s zest for life, appreciation for others, and generosity of spirit inspires those with whom she works.

An honor’s student at the University of Wisconsin, Madison, Judith’s desire and passion to learn about authenticity motivated her to move her studies to The Institute for Creative and Artistic Development (ICAD) in Oakland, California. As the youngest student in their teacher training program, she created and graduated with an undergraduate degree that focused on authenticity through California State University, Sonoma. Continuing on her quest to study authenticity and creativity, Judith began taking courses at California State University, Hayward where she also created and graduated with a unique Master’s degree that focused on communication, transformation, and the creative arts.

Interested in systems and change, Judith began experimenting with her innovative action-oriented approach to assess and intervene with families, groups, and organizations. Through this work, she became a much sought-after instructor, training masters and doctoral students in her seminal work. As chair of a psychology program focused on Creative Arts Therapies at Antioch University, San Francisco, she developed curriculum and continued to serve as guest faculty and lecturer at universities nationwide.

In addition to leading Rewire Leadership, Judith and her husband, Daniel Ellenberg, co-founded Relationships That Work®, where she serves as Vice President. She and Daniel co-authored Lovers for Life: Creating Lasting Passion, Trust, and True Partnership, which applies the principles of Rewire Leadership Institute® to romantic relationships. Recently, they co-authored a chapter in Mastering the Art of Success: Volume 8. With Matt White, Judith recently co-authored Leading with Courage.

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