Influence and Authenticity

How is that Possible?

What is authenticity anyway? To me, authenticity has to do with revealing or expressing the undefended facets of yourself. There isn't one authentic you. There are many authentic yous.

Think of yourself like a faceted diamond. When the light hits the diamond in a certain way, some facets sparkle. Turn the diamond in the light and other facets sparkle. All of them are facets of the diamond, just like all of your authentic characters are aspects of you.

Some people think this means that reacting defensively is okay since they think of that as authentic reactions. I view it differently. Our defensive reactions are clearly part of us, but I see them as parts of ourselves that are scared, wounded, and fighting to survive. If we stay with the diamond metaphor, our defenses would be like oil or soap that is crudding up the diamond and not letting it sparkle. It could also be like the flaws in the diamond (called inclusions) that don't refract light in the same way as when they aren't there.

Calling the diamond's flaws 'inclusions' is interesting in light of this metaphor. In order for us to come from what I call our authentic self or selves, we have to admit to our defenses, include them enough to notice them, get to know them, find out where they're coming from, and diminish them by making peace inside ourselves and shifting our nervous system from a survive state to a thrive state.

Consider the idea that you have many facets inside you that are part of you and each facet has different characteristics or attributes. Now imagine that you are in a situation in which you want to influence someone. If you are in the director's seat, you look around at your cast of characters and find those whom you believe will help you influence whoever is in front of you in the way you're hoping.

If you follow this idea out, you will find that you have a huge amount of flexibility and options, all of which can be coming from your authenticity.

Play with it and find out how it works for you.

Judith Bell, M.S., Master LHEP™

Judith Bell, M.S., Master LHEP™

Judith is the founder and president of Rewire Leadership Institute®. A master facilitator, consultant, teacher, and coach, she has created and facilitated personal growth, team development and organizational change seminars, coached executives and teams, facilitated strategic planning and high visibility meetings, and supported culture change for over four decades. Judith works with a diverse range of companies from government agencies, non-profit, Fortune Global 500, to small and mid-sized family owned businesses including such organizations as NASA, Seaflow, Total Oil, Restoration Hardware, San Antonio Water System, and Culver Company.

Superb at supporting individuals, pairs, and teams in developing the skills necessary to realize their full potential, Judith helps executives, managers, and staff gain the ability to respond flexibly and rapidly to their changing environment. Through extensive experience and research, she utilizes a number of different approaches including the FIRO theory, systems theory, cybernetics, neuroscience, cognitive, positive, and success psychology.

As one of the world’s leading experts on the FIRO theory, she trains consultants internationally. A consultant’s consultant, Judith mentors facilitators, coaches, therapists and other professionals in the integration of the FIRO theory in their work. From 1981 until 2004, she worked closely with Dr. Will Schutz, the creator of FIRO theory. Independently, Judith developed FIRO Theory Profiling, which has been lauded as the first innovation in the FIRO theory instruments aside from Dr. Schutz’ own developments. She continues to develop courses that synthesize her studies and experience and are based in FIRO theory.

Starting in her teenage years, Judith has been a pioneer in her passion for authenticity, clear communication, and positive change. She is lauded for her ability to see others’ potential and help them realize it—be they individuals, pairs, teams, or organizations. Judith’s zest for life, appreciation for others, and generosity of spirit inspires those with whom she works.

An honor’s student at the University of Wisconsin, Madison, Judith’s desire and passion to learn about authenticity motivated her to move her studies to The Institute for Creative and Artistic Development (ICAD) in Oakland, California. As the youngest student in their teacher training program, she created and graduated with an undergraduate degree that focused on authenticity through California State University, Sonoma. Continuing on her quest to study authenticity and creativity, Judith began taking courses at California State University, Hayward where she also created and graduated with a unique Master’s degree that focused on communication, transformation, and the creative arts.

Interested in systems and change, Judith began experimenting with her innovative action-oriented approach to assess and intervene with families, groups, and organizations. Through this work, she became a much sought-after instructor, training masters and doctoral students in her seminal work. As chair of a psychology program focused on Creative Arts Therapies at Antioch University, San Francisco, she developed curriculum and continued to serve as guest faculty and lecturer at universities nationwide.

In addition to leading Rewire Leadership, Judith and her husband, Daniel Ellenberg, co-founded Relationships That Work®, where she serves as Vice President. She and Daniel co-authored Lovers for Life: Creating Lasting Passion, Trust, and True Partnership, which applies the principles of Rewire Leadership Institute® to romantic relationships. Recently, they co-authored a chapter in Mastering the Art of Success: Volume 8. With Matt White, Judith recently co-authored Leading with Courage.

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