Decision-Making Difficulties?

Learn Skills to Make it Easy!

Decisions are an integral part of life. There's no getting around them. We make many decisions each day. Some are small and seemingly inconsequential. Others are big decisions that change our lives.

For some people, even those seemingly inconsequential decisions wreak havoc on our psyches. We worry. We ask ourselves, is this the right decision? Or will I feel foolish for making the wrong decision? How are others going to regard my choice? What if I haven't thought of everything and there are horrible consequences? Some of us even have sleepless nights, nail-biting, jaw-clenching anxiety. For others, it’s not so bad. But could it be easier, less painful, even joyful? Yes!

You can learn how to make stress-free decisions and actually trust the decisions that you make. There is a well-proven process that enables you to get clear about the competing voices in your head, discern your authentic desire versus your fears, and separate fact-finding from the decision itself.

The process is not simple. It takes self-reflection and a willingness to be honest with yourself.

If you are willing to take the deep dive into yourself, you’ll eventually get the rewards. Rather than being anxiety-producing, decision-making actually becomes fun and gives you the means to get you where you want to go.

Most people don’t realize that there are phases to decision-making. However, when you understand the phases of the decision-making process, it is easier to evaluate the risks and the potential rewards of your options. I call this process the Mindful Decision-Making Approach, or MDMA.

MDMA asks these questions:

  1. What do you hope to accomplish?
  2. What’s important about this decision, i.e., what is the possible impact?
  3. What impediments are you aware of in herself and with others?
  4. What resources do you need to get sufficient data and input?
  5. What is the risk/reward ratio? What possible negative impacts or positive impacts are there if you make the decision? What if you don’t decide? How can you mitigate the risk?
  6. Finally, the moment of choice is at hand. How do you develop confidence in yourself to trust that you will get on a positive trajectory or if necessary, cope with having to change and redirect?

Most important in this model is learning how to let go of perfectionism and develop trust in your ability to cope with what emerges. Equally important, is learning to listen in to a deep place of inner knowing. Lastly, you'll find that celebrating your decision is more helpful than the alternatives.

If you’re interested in learning more and you live in the San Francisco Bay Area, join me for a 3 hour evening workshop at California Institute for Integral Studies on Tuesday, November 13, 2018. Click here for details.

If you want more of this, please write and I’ll make sure I follow up with another blog.

Judith Bell, M.S., Master LHEP™

Judith Bell, M.S., Master LHEP™

Judith is the founder and president of Rewire Leadership Institute®. A master facilitator, consultant, teacher, and coach, she has created and facilitated personal growth, team development and organizational change seminars, coached executives and teams, facilitated strategic planning and high visibility meetings, and supported culture change for over four decades. Judith works with a diverse range of companies from government agencies, non-profit, Fortune Global 500, to small and mid-sized family owned businesses including such organizations as NASA, Seaflow, Total Oil, Restoration Hardware, San Antonio Water System, and Culver Company.

Superb at supporting individuals, pairs, and teams in developing the skills necessary to realize their full potential, Judith helps executives, managers, and staff gain the ability to respond flexibly and rapidly to their changing environment. Through extensive experience and research, she utilizes a number of different approaches including the FIRO theory, systems theory, cybernetics, neuroscience, cognitive, positive, and success psychology.

As one of the world’s leading experts on the FIRO theory, she trains consultants internationally. A consultant’s consultant, Judith mentors facilitators, coaches, therapists and other professionals in the integration of the FIRO theory in their work. From 1981 until 2004, she worked closely with Dr. Will Schutz, the creator of FIRO theory. Independently, Judith developed FIRO Theory Profiling, which has been lauded as the first innovation in the FIRO theory instruments aside from Dr. Schutz’ own developments. She continues to develop courses that synthesize her studies and experience and are based in FIRO theory.

Starting in her teenage years, Judith has been a pioneer in her passion for authenticity, clear communication, and positive change. She is lauded for her ability to see others’ potential and help them realize it—be they individuals, pairs, teams, or organizations. Judith’s zest for life, appreciation for others, and generosity of spirit inspires those with whom she works.

An honor’s student at the University of Wisconsin, Madison, Judith’s desire and passion to learn about authenticity motivated her to move her studies to The Institute for Creative and Artistic Development (ICAD) in Oakland, California. As the youngest student in their teacher training program, she created and graduated with an undergraduate degree that focused on authenticity through California State University, Sonoma. Continuing on her quest to study authenticity and creativity, Judith began taking courses at California State University, Hayward where she also created and graduated with a unique Master’s degree that focused on communication, transformation, and the creative arts.

Interested in systems and change, Judith began experimenting with her innovative action-oriented approach to assess and intervene with families, groups, and organizations. Through this work, she became a much sought-after instructor, training masters and doctoral students in her seminal work. As chair of a psychology program focused on Creative Arts Therapies at Antioch University, San Francisco, she developed curriculum and continued to serve as guest faculty and lecturer at universities nationwide.

In addition to leading Rewire Leadership, Judith and her husband, Daniel Ellenberg, co-founded Relationships That Work®, where she serves as Vice President. She and Daniel co-authored Lovers for Life: Creating Lasting Passion, Trust, and True Partnership, which applies the principles of Rewire Leadership Institute® to romantic relationships. Recently, they co-authored a chapter in Mastering the Art of Success: Volume 8. With Matt White, Judith recently co-authored Leading with Courage.

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