Broadening the Scope
June 1, 2015
Many years ago, I was responding to my partner's question with an explanation and he said, “Why are you defending yourself?”
Immediately, I responded with, “I'm not being defensive. I'm simply telling you my reasons.”
“But I didn't ask you for your...
Thriving Questions Keep Conversations on Track
May 25, 2015
You've probably noticed how easy it is for emotionally laden conversations with certain people to go south. With other topics, not so much. With other people, not so much. However, regardless of the topic or the person, it behooves us to enhance our own ability to keep a conversation moving...
The Positive Effects of Thrive on You and Your Relationships
May 18, 2015
Have you ever noticed how your body feels when you are stewing with resentment? Compare that to your memory of feeling joyful, grateful, and in a thrive state. It's a wonder we let resentment get a foothold at all. But, sadly, when our survival state sets in and we react with anger,...
The Choice Tree and How to Use It
May 11, 2015
Let's face it. We're all reactive to some extent. Some people more than others. Some people do better at staying calm and remaining on an even keel than others. But even those who are rarely ruffled can describe instances in which they were not so cool, calm, and collected. They too,...
Thrive or Survive?
May 4, 2015
While there have been questions about what distinguishes the mind from the brain, our working supposition aligns with most modern understandings: our minds are how we experience our brains. For example, while we do not experience the actual triggering of the stress hormone cortisol by the...
When to Cut Bait?
April 27, 2015
As a fisherperson, I can recall many times when I felt bad about cutting bait. Why? Because a particularly beautiful fly was on the end of my line or a newly purchased lure. But, cut bait I did, re-set my rod, and off I went, casting again.
When it comes to people, cutting bait is not so easy nor...
When You Fall Off, Get Back on the Pony
Turn Lemons to Lemonade
April 20, 2015
Because we are all human, we make mistakes.
The interpersonal social/emotional mistakes we make create ruptures in relationships.
How we deal with those ruptures makes the difference between a thriving relationship (at work or home) and a relationship that is simply surviving or hanging on by a...
Positive Means Constructive, Not Superficial
April 13, 2015
After my last blog, I received the following email from someone who has become a cherished reader due to his frequent and rich feedback:
“A second take: positive, being part of a dichotomy, holds in its underbelly, negative; and thus 'positive' thinking always has a desperate...
Staying Positive, Even in Conflict
April 6, 2015
When things go wrong, don't go with them.”
- Elvis Presley
“When you connect to the silence within you, that is when you can make sense of the disturbance going on around you.”
- Stephen Richards
The following story epitomizes the value of staying positive even when undesired...
The Alternative is Not so Good
March 30, 2015
Many people think that being positive means that they don't give their critical feedback. As a result, they hold back their opinions and when they finally do let them out (when the pressure inside them builds up), their opinions come out in a harsh and accusatory manner or so indirect that...