Shame and blame are habit patterns that start early in life. We learn them from the adults around us who are doing the best they know to socialize us. Because they are habits that have been around for a long time, they require a thoughtful strategy to change them. Letting go of long held beliefs usually does not happen easily.
However, given that the alternative of curiosity, understanding, and compassion feels much better, it is not that difficult to diminish the shame and blame and increase curiosity.
This practice is fairly simple.
Have fun exploring getting curious. But even more to the point at first, be tenacious about noticing the shame or blame that comes in, with love and gentleness express your awareness of it, and then redirect your mind to get curious.
I look forward to hearing how it goes.